expectations.

Hello everyone! A lot has happened since my last post! ...I got married to my best friend, we moved to California, and I am now trying to make my writing more official by free lancing for Healthy Utah Magazine. I love it. 

I wanted to talk about expectations. We all have them, but where do they come from? How do we come up with these expectations and "rules" for ourselves? I have had a few different discussions with loved ones about this topic and it has sparked a post. I think it is time to let these certain expectations built up from our culture, our up-bringing, the media, and let them go. I think we can confuse expectations with goals, and goals are a great thing to have! But the expectation of fulfilling your goals, or the expectation to be "this" or do "that" with your life... that is what needs to be let go. 

Expectations can do a lot of things. They can fill you with fear or make you feel inadequate. One example that comes to mind from my own life is: After college, I felt like I had this big time degree that I had worked so hard for, and that I wasn't really doing anything with. I had the expectation that I would have a "big kid" job right away and that I would be doing something incredibly fulfilling. This expectation I had for myself tore me apart and made me feel useless...Like I wasn't contributing to the world or living up to my potential. Sure I had a few different entry level jobs, but for some reason that wasn't enough. Others that come to mind from recent discussions are: the expectation to be skinny-to exercise THIS long and only eat THIS much.. or the expectation that taking a leap of faith will only end in failure and regret. 

Expectations can make you feel like you aren't doing enough and that you need to reach farther and dream bigger. Sure these are wonderful, but a lot of times they blur our vision and make it seem like where we are at is never enough. We forget to soak up the beauty and gratitude of RIGHT where we are...how beautiful our surroundings are..and how great we are really doing. 

We forget to live and..just be. 

So throw out those rules and expectations you have made for yourself and for other people. Try to live in the moment a little more and know that what you are doing is enough and that you are enough. I don't want you to miss out on today. 

hello world.

It's been a minute, and of course, a lot has been on my mind. I had the chance to spend sometime alone today just taking it easy and playing guitar. This is an outlet of mine that I don't do nearly enough, but when I do, it gets me thinking about life. haha.. what is it about music that makes you do that? 

I started thinking about my path and where I have come. I thought about friends and loved ones. And the world. Where I have come in the last few months... I could not be more grateful. The whole experience of ups and downs has proven to me even more that God is real and answers prayers. He knows FAR more than me and He see's the bigger picture even when I can't. The strength and confidence He has helped me develop is something I never thought would be possible. I feel like I have had to completely re-identify myself and what my true value is. I no longer have school and dance to define me, and now its just me:) Who am I and what can I give? ...This "after college" process has not been easy, but I have gained a better understanding of who I am and what I want. In so many ways God has helped me accomplish "my impossible" and He continues to do so. I know that I could not go a single day without Him. 

So if you are going through something really hard and you feel like you are in a wave that just keeps crashing down on you.... please don't give up! He is there and peace will come. These moments don't last forever-- I have gained a lot of strength in that statement when I am going through a moment of anxiety or deep sadness. I KNOW from past experience...past peaceful moments...that this one too will pass. God has helped me see ME and what I'm capable of. I am constantly praying for COURAGE not to give up, unshakable FAITH, and DISCERNMENT... and God is listening. Whatever your hiccup, there is HOPE. 

I hope that my friends can read this and know that they are extraordinary and powerful. That it is okay to be right where they are...and that not everything has to be figured out right now. WE ARE SO HARD ON OURSELVES and that needs to stop. We need to find the simplicity, the beauty, the gratitude, and the joy in our everyday. Small moments of gratitude and reflection help us see the bigger picture and assess our true values. 

With God, the impossible is possible. I'm seeing it in my own life.