Monday, July 4, 2016


Hello everyone! A lot has happened since my last post! ...I got married to my best friend, we moved to California, and I am now trying to make my writing more official by free lancing for Healthy Utah Magazine. I love it. 

I wanted to talk about expectations. We all have them, but where do they come from? How do we come up with these expectations and "rules" for ourselves? I have had a few different discussions with loved ones about this topic and it has sparked a post. I think it is time to let these certain expectations built up from our culture, our up-bringing, the media, and let them go. I think we can confuse expectations with goals, and goals are a great thing to have! But the expectation of fulfilling your goals, or the expectation to be "this" or do "that" with your life... that is what needs to be let go. 

Expectations can do a lot of things. They can fill you with fear or make you feel inadequate. One example that comes to mind from my own life is: After college, I felt like I had this big time degree that I had worked so hard for, and that I wasn't really doing anything with. I had the expectation that I would have a "big kid" job right away and that I would be doing something incredibly fulfilling. This expectation I had for myself tore me apart and made me feel useless...Like I wasn't contributing to the world or living up to my potential. Sure I had a few different entry level jobs, but for some reason that wasn't enough. Others that come to mind from recent discussions are: the expectation to be skinny-to exercise THIS long and only eat THIS much.. or the expectation that taking a leap of faith will only end in failure and regret. 

Expectations can make you feel like you aren't doing enough and that you need to reach farther and dream bigger. Sure these are wonderful, but a lot of times they blur our vision and make it seem like where we are at is never enough. We forget to soak up the beauty and gratitude of RIGHT where we beautiful our surroundings are..and how great we are really doing. 

We forget to live and..just be. 

So throw out those rules and expectations you have made for yourself and for other people. Try to live in the moment a little more and know that what you are doing is enough and that you are enough. I don't want you to miss out on today. 

Thursday, January 28, 2016

hello world.

It's been a minute, and of course, a lot has been on my mind. I had the chance to spend sometime alone today just taking it easy and playing guitar. This is an outlet of mine that I don't do nearly enough, but when I do, it gets me thinking about life. haha.. what is it about music that makes you do that? 

I started thinking about my path and where I have come. I thought about friends and loved ones. And the world. Where I have come in the last few months... I could not be more grateful. The whole experience of ups and downs has proven to me even more that God is real and answers prayers. He knows FAR more than me and He see's the bigger picture even when I can't. The strength and confidence He has helped me develop is something I never thought would be possible. I feel like I have had to completely re-identify myself and what my true value is. I no longer have school and dance to define me, and now its just me:) Who am I and what can I give? ...This "after college" process has not been easy, but I have gained a better understanding of who I am and what I want. In so many ways God has helped me accomplish "my impossible" and He continues to do so. I know that I could not go a single day without Him. 

So if you are going through something really hard and you feel like you are in a wave that just keeps crashing down on you.... please don't give up! He is there and peace will come. These moments don't last forever-- I have gained a lot of strength in that statement when I am going through a moment of anxiety or deep sadness. I KNOW from past experience...past peaceful moments...that this one too will pass. God has helped me see ME and what I'm capable of. I am constantly praying for COURAGE not to give up, unshakable FAITH, and DISCERNMENT... and God is listening. Whatever your hiccup, there is HOPE. 

I hope that my friends can read this and know that they are extraordinary and powerful. That it is okay to be right where they are...and that not everything has to be figured out right now. WE ARE SO HARD ON OURSELVES and that needs to stop. We need to find the simplicity, the beauty, the gratitude, and the joy in our everyday. Small moments of gratitude and reflection help us see the bigger picture and assess our true values. 

With God, the impossible is possible. I'm seeing it in my own life. 

Sunday, December 20, 2015

eyes to see.

I've been thinking lately about what it means to really believe. How do we really "see" with believing eyes? ...How do we accomplish our true desires and become the people we dream to be? 

For me, I dream to have Christlike eyes. I wish to take all of the worldly/human like things we inevitably experience and turn them into positive energy. I desire to gain unshakable faith and strength in my transgressions. I dream to become like my Savior and to know the potential He see's in me. 

I wish to rid myself of negativity and conquer the brain...I just wish to see true beauty in myself, in others, in life, and to love as God loves. 

I read a quote about how 'life isn't so much about becoming anything, but unbecoming everything that isn't really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.' 

So HOW do we do that? Thoughts that come to my mind from experience and advice... 

1. Start where you are. If we could all just let go of the things in our past, we would have a healthier and more positive view of what we can accomplish. It's not about the past or even the present, but where we are going. If you can't or don't believe, pray to have belief. Ask for help from Heavenly Father that He will help you let go of your past and help you accomplish your desires. Starting where you are is all you need:) & all that your God needs.

2. Manage your time. We live in a world where social media is the ruler and everything is at our fingertips. There is so much positivity that can come from these things, but like I mentioned earlier, sometimes these worldly things can become inevitably negative. They can create and amplify greed, jealousy, envy, and turn us away from the beauty in our own lives. We must manage our time and fill our days with health and positivity. I, like anyone else, find myself scrolling through Instagram on the daily, but there is something to be said when we take a break and put the phone down for a little bit. 
         -Get some exercise. Whether that is taking the stairs at work or going on a jog, your body and mind need those endorphins! 
         -Serve someone everyday. There is nothing that brings you closer to God. 

         -Put the phone down and turn the computer off. Minimizing the use of these can bring more gratitude and happiness in your life. It can help you see others differently, see yourself differently, and be more aware of what is around you. We don't need this stuff..We don't truly know what is going on in someone's life or who they are by a post. Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the appearance of things through social media. Take a break, if even for 1 day, and fill that time with something like calling an old friend:) Continuing to decrease these things can be very effective. I have seen it in my own life. 

        -Do something for yourself. We all need those moments that pick us up. Take time to be by yourself and do something that makes YOU feel good. It could be a yoga class or something as simple as getting a diet coke:) I know that is my "go to" haha. 

        -Continue to read, and write, and LEARN. Your minds health and function need it. I always turn to self help books and my journal is a daily go to. Writing helps me remember I am doing okay. It gets me in tune with myself and the Spirit. I love reflecting on my writings when I am going through a hard or weak reminds me that I have gotten through hard things and that I won't be stuck in this hard moment forever.... Learn from podcasts, books, classes, traveling...just never stop learning and trying to become someone better. 

         -Make a TO DO list and take a deep breath. Sometimes we just get ahead of ourselves. 

3. Incorporate your gospel everyday. For me this is a MUST. Talking to my Father in Heaven and telling Him everything. My ups, my downs, my true desires, my transgressions...He listens and helps me. Even those little weaknesses that no one else knows about...He knows and He helps me through them. I have to do my part. To try, to read my scriptures, to serve, to tackle my struggles, to not only pray once or twice a day, but multiple times. It is a constant challenge that I work through everyday, but the wonderful thing is I don't have to do any of it alone. 

        If it isn't prayer and scripture study everyday, it is attending church meetings on Sunday. There is no better way than through the divine to heal, to grow, and to see through believing eyes. God believes in us and loves us more than we can comprehend. He is our biggest advocate. He can truly help us see our potential and help us accomplish the desires of our hearts. He can help us have those 'eyes to see' beauty in its purest form. 

4. Keep going. Never give up on yourself or start to think that you are incapable. I have seen first hand the true meaning of continuing to push forward when you feel like you have nothing left to give.. and how, by taking even the smallest of baby steps, and being extremely patient with yourself, you can start to move in the direction you desire. 

       It's okay to have bad days. To have sad days that feel a little gloomy. It is okay to get angry or want to cry. To want to scream. It is OKAY to feel exactly how you want to feel.. or go through weird moments that don't feel quite like you. Thoughts are sometimes just thoughts, and they don't define who YOU are. These unexplainable moments don't define you. They are normal... and it took me a long time to learn that it's okay. These are apart of those human like emotions and thoughts that we WILL go through..and it's okay. Like I said earlier--it is all about what we do with these moments and how to turn them into positive energy. Your brain may be powerful, but you are more powerful, and it can be conquered. I just love that. 

So there you go... Use these 4 steps to help you work towards having those believing eyes in whatever area you seek. I am learning more and more that each one of us really is going through our own individual struggles & I think that there is not a stronger indication that we truly need each other. 

See with more Christlike eyes this Christmas & enjoy the holidays! 

Thursday, November 19, 2015


A good friend recently told me that our 20's are a time of discovery. A time to explore, struggle, grow, and ultimately shape our future. There are a lot of big time decisions to be made in our 20s and it can be overwhelming.. This is the time to fall down repeatedly and get back up. To get hurt and become stronger. To test our career path, our relationships, and who we really want to be... 

So be strong! Be that believer. Be okay with taking chances and risks everyday. Travel as often as you can and don't waste a minute. Don't let someone else or something else define you. Live in the now and just "be" ... Don't think too much about the future. You are exactly where you are supposed to be, and like I constantly say, you are doing better than you think. Expect the best out of yourself. 

My 20s have been a great journey so far. Wow.. There have been some ups and downs, some laughs and tears...but oh how much I have learned. I've learned the true value of family and how a niece or nephew can change your world. I've danced with incredible individuals. I've graduated from college and freaked out because I didn't know what the heck I was going to do with my life. I've seen deaths. I've seen love.. I've fallen in love.. And I have had a better taste of life and what it TRULY means to grow. 

So in honor of those fantastic 20s, I have decided to try a special something. I would love to hear from you... And what I want to hear are the good things. We live in a world where there is too much negativity thrown in our faces and we miss out on those simple, good, beautiful moments. So I want to hear about those moments! Please email and let me know of something happy or positive that you witnessed today. It could be as simple as seeing a couple hold hands and smile at each other, or someone open the door for another stranger.. A personal story. A life changing moment. Whatever you would like! I just want it to be positive :) I will post a happy moment everyday for the next 20 days. What better way to celebrate life, our 20s, and prepare for the happiness of the holidays ahead! :) thanks! 

Friday, November 6, 2015


It is crazy what a busy schedule and a little bit of structure can do! The last few months, while going through some emotional challenges and life changes, I was in complete LIMBO. I was a college graduate with a set direction, and not only did that direction suddenly and unknowingly change, but it was thrown bumps and turns of every kind! road was suddenly foggy and confusing and I didn't have a plan. I wasn't dancing anymore, I didn't have a job, and my once BYU Provo "cush" and busy life was gone. Complete overload! haha. 

I always thought that not being busy would be nice! No commitments, no job, just live and do what I wanted. haha. Well once it actually happened to me, with all sorts of other changes, I hated it! I didn't know who I was anymore or my purpose. What was the point of getting up in the morning? ...I tried to keep myself busy with things, but I couldn't get out of my funk. I wasn't progressing or feeling like I was contributing to the world. 

Well I finally landed a couple of jobs! It took some time and some patience, but wow it feels good. I have to get up early (even though sometimes that is REALLY HARD. My first day I cried), but it has been the best thing for me. A busier schedule has given me energy and motivation. It has helped me take better care of myself and stay better in tune mentally and physically. It has helped my relationships grow and has ultimately helped me climb out of my funk:) .... 

So I am a firm believer in the positive effect a busy schedule can have! For me, having a job helps me see things differently and feel more motivated to accomplish other things. I want to work out, I want to go take dance classes, I want to serve people and be with my friends...being busy just makes me feel better! 

I know that our schedules can be out of control sometimes. At times we just wish that things would slow down so we could catch a breath. I think there is definitely that fine line of how busy we should make ourselves... we don't want to be running around like a crazy person all of time! ... but try to find the good and gratitude in your schedule:) Take time for yourself to breath and simplify (we all can do that), but maybe try to look at your busy schedule a little differently. 

I am grateful I have a job. 
I am grateful I have a car to get me there. 
I am grateful for a busy schedule that helps keep me motivated and progressing! 

Have a great weekend!! :) 

Friday, October 30, 2015

Holiday Happy.

The leaves have changed and the air is's time to pull out the sweaters, beanies, and boots, and I LOVE IT. So many fun holidays coming up! :) 

I have been trying this new thing lately. Acceptance. Being more accepting of myself and my current situation and being gentle. I never realized how hard I was on myself until I graduated from college and no longer had dance, school, and all of these things that made me feel powerful and somewhat in control. I have always said that someone needs to write a book on 'How to Function After College' haha. I thought I handled change well until that all happened... I went through a lot in a short few months and I found myself getting really frustrated and down. I didn't have every little thing in my life figured out anymore and I really beat myself up about it. I wasn't right where I wanted to be or where I thought I should be and that caused so much distress! I think we can all be sooooo hard on ourselves for things like that. Just because I didn't have everything figured out right after college I was freaking out! 

 Lately I have been praying to be more accepting of myself and where I am at... and praying for strength...and God has been listening. I definitely still have my hard days, but I'm trying to not see them as set backs. They are just bumps. I have realized that when I am more accepting of who I am, my thoughts, and where I am at, things just seem to go so much better. I am happier, more hopeful, and I see things differently. It's a beautiful feeling I wish I could describe better. Things seem to fall into place when the pressure disappears. 

So that is my challenge this week! Try to be more accepting of exactly where you are at and love yourself more. They are right when they say that you can't truly love someone else until you love yourself. I have noticed the incredible strength and hope that comes from accepting myself and my circumstances. Thoughts can be powerful--they can maybe make you feel like you aren't going to reach that level you want--but you will. You are already on your way if you just keep trying and find something to smile about everyday along the way. Your thoughts don't define you! 

So try to love & accept and find some FUN activities to do this holiday season :) It is a time to be happy. 

"Keep your head up. Take your time. Be proud of yourself. Always remember, you are right where you're supposed to be" :) 

Thursday, October 1, 2015



In the last couple of months I have learned a lot about what a true friend is...and how important it is to have friends in your life. I don't know if I cherish my friends enough or express enough gratitude for them. It is pretty rare to find those that love you completely for you..who understand all of your corks and still stick around ;) It is especially rare to find a friend that will go out of their way to care for you in those times of need... that is when you know you are very lucky. 

That's simply it. I feel extremely lucky to have the friends that I do. I live in a place where I am surrounded with them and get the chance to have encounters with them everyday. I get to laugh, open up, and just be me...the good and the bad..and I forget what a blessing that is. You never really realize the magnitude of that blessing until you are far away from those friends and don't have them in your day to day. 

It is not always easy to let people help you. When you are going through something really hard it is easy to push people's not always easy to be vulnerable or let others see that you are weak and are in need of a hand. I have always wanted to be that person that helps other friends. I didn't want to be the one that needed the help... but lately my friends have proven to me that God sends us earthly angels. I know this is clique, but I really don't know where I would be without them. Friendship, loyalty, and selflessness have taken on a whole new meaning for me because of these angels... and the amount of people that have gone above and beyond to help me has been incredible. 

Sometimes it is good to just take a step back and look at all of the good people in your life. I love those moments that remind you of how caring people can be & how we were really sent here to help one another. I'm so grateful for the people in my life that haven't given up on me and have taught me what it means to truly love someone. We have been blessed with that incredible ability to love people and I think that human existence seems to make a little bit more sense when you see someone struggling that you have the opportunity to help. I'm grateful for the moments that remind us that we all have struggles and that we can't do it without one another.

So I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you to the angels in my life that have lifted me up and have made me strong. For loving me through the good and the bad and for showing me constant support. I don't realize the impact you have in my life until I go through something really hard, and I need to tell you all more how much I appreciate you. 

Maybe we could all try to be a little bit better friends. To tell our friends how great they are and all of the amazing qualities they possess. Look out for your friends and try to be a little more aware... I think we all have those moments in our lives where we feel crazy and out of place, and we need our friends to remind us that we are great the way we are and that we are doing a good job. No one has their crap figured out... haha... and I think that is what makes life such an incredible journey. So not only try to help your friends, but let your friends help you:) 

i love my friends.