spiritual overload.

Today was a beautiful & unexplainable Sunday. A day that gave me so much peace and comfort, and that reassured me that there is a God who hears me. It was a day that was almost so perfectly and significantly placed that I couldn't help but write about it.

This Sunday just so happened to fall on a day when I was feeling extremely discouraged and alone. I can't really even explain it, but a weekend by myself put my mind into overload thinking about everything in my life, and I felt as though I was completely lost. I have learned that the mind is such a powerful tool-for good & for bad-and feeding it with the right desires and positive reinforcements is crucial…it's just not always so easy… However, through the incredible & miraculous power of the Savior & His Atonement, our minds & our hearts can be changed and ever so comforted. He feels every ache and pain that you feel. He knows, better than anyone else, exactly what you are going through…and He is there, even in those moments of heartache and despair.

The testimony I gained of my Savior's awareness today was incredible. He not only placed the right people in my path, but the right talks, hymns, everything! We discussed the talk, The Plan of Happiness, by Elder Boyd K. Packer, and the significance it had in my life was spot on. It was not only brought up in the first meeting, but in my personal visit with the bishop, and in a random email my dad felt inclined to send me later on in the day. I was meant to read that talk! By the time it got to my dads email, I was in tears with the amount of peace and comfort I had received... The talks in sacrament were based on the Holy Spirit and being able to recognize and understand it. I learned that like anything new, being able to recognize and understand the Spirit takes time and practice. It is like learning a new language or instrument. Patience and practice are key, and piece by piece you begin to learn and understand it better. I never thought of the Spirit in that way and it really hit me... I may have these crazy times where I freak out and let my mind take over, but the important thing is that I continue to try and push through them. I am battling my trials like anyone else in the world, and I am learning how to understand the Spirit better...to not feed my worldly and negative desires..and to maintain a more eternal perspective. Something important to remember is sometimes trying so hard to get rid of a "freak out moment" or a negative thought can be detrimental. You can become so upset with yourself and just make it worse... you almost need to take a second to see how your body is feeling, try and observe this moment from the outside looking in, and fully acknowledge it. Your full acknowledgement and awareness will help the moment pass more quickly..& completely pass..instead of holding on to a small piece of it. This is something I learned at my internship here in Boston called SOMATIC EXPERIENCING. It is a really incredible type of therapy and healing.. (but that is for another post:) ...

3 tips on better recognizing and understanding the Spirit:
1. Prayer. This is the time for you to talk to the Lord and humbly share everything that is on your mind.
2. Scripture study. When we need to talk to the Lord, we pray. When He needs to talk to us, He says it through the scriptures. Daily prayer and scripture study are so important when it comes to being in tune with the Spirit.
3. Go and do! We then have to go out and utilize the Spirit...use it and learn from experience. If we are being obedient and doing all we can for the Lord, "we cannot go amiss".

We also sang the beautiful hymn, "Be Still My Soul". These particular words reminded me that my Heavenly Father was "by my side" and that He was going to continue to provide for me. He was going to continue to "guide my future like He had the past"...The bishop also gave me a beautiful blessing and reassured me that God was proud of me and what I was doing... He said that God knew the true intentions of my heart and that I just needed to continue to push forward and be patient. Holy spiritual overload! It was all so incredible!

So the biggest thing that I took from today that I really wanted to share was.. God is there and He is more aware of you than you know. We all experience days of trial and hardships--our trials are very different from one another--& every thought, trial, or experience you have is particular to you. Some may be unexplainable and extremely hard...but there is hope & light in every moment. If you have the desire to do good for The Lord and you are trying, that is enough. He is filling up your cup and you might not even know it. Your cup may be filling up slower than others or slower than you want... but it is being filled, and eventually, He will make things known to you that will make your cup overflow...

Another thing is.. Life is what you make it. My dad shared some really good advice with me about starting out a journey... a new internship, a new relationship, a new big step in life.. it is all about the effort you put in and what you make of it. At first, it might be a hard adjustment, but eventually you get in the swing of things and become more comfortable. It is an everyday process of work and dedication to continue to grow in it and love it even more...You can use this advice in a lot of different ways in your life.. I just thought it was inspiring and my dad seemed to say it so beautifully.

So there you go. A mouth full of things to take with you and hopefully something I said will help you in whatever circumstance you are in. Know that you are beautiful.. that your thoughts and feelings are valid (as crazy as they may seem), and that God understands them completely. Keep trying to do your best in the world and make other people happy. The church of Jesus Christ is so very true, and after this Sunday, I know that God is real more than ever.